Why Norwegians Need Your Culture

As a Norwegian, I used to think I enjoyed the reserved, non-confrontational Scandinavian culture. To be able to put my headphones on and not make eye contact with anyone was a freedom I highly valued, especially on the cold and dark days when I would prefer to hibernate. When my international friends complained about the struggle of making friends with Norwegians due to them being reserved, I have ignorantly rolled my eyes and suggested that they should join a skiing course. We are not that bad, are we?

It was not until I spent a semester abroad that I fully realised what my friends had meant. Already at Gardermoen Airport, I experienced a reverse culture shock that gave me a new perspective on my own culture. As I walked through the busy corridors, I suddenly got the feeling that nobody saw me. I felt invisible. 

After I had paid for my family-sized Freia chocolate at the Tax Free, I told the cashier to have a nice day. She looked at me like I had said something shocking. By the luggage pick-up, where people impatiently waited for their suitcases, not a single person looked up. Fathers, mothers, toddlers, and grandparents, tan from their all-inclusive holidays, were all looking at their phones. 

On my second day back in the land of phones and non-confrontation, I had to fill up my empty fridge and go to Coop Extra. As I wandered around, appreciating the familiar surroundings, I suddenly felt something wet under my shoe. I looked down and realised there was salsa everywhere. Someone had accidentally dropped a jar on the floor, and the red, wet sauce had spread all over the white tiles. Whoever dropped it must have just walked away, and despite it being Friday afternoon with people everywhere, not a single person had told me I was about to step into a salsa bloodbath.

Of course, loneliness is a complex topic, and it does not come from one single reason. However, I believe the Norwegian culture plays a big part in it. When I look back at my 22 years in Norway, I remember a long list of episodes like the one at Coop Extra. Every winter, I slip and fall on the ice, without a single bystander asking me if I am okay. The intricate social rules of not interfering with strangers have made us afraid of reaching out a hand. They have made us scared of the awkwardness and uncertainty a new encounter might bring. Consequently, you end up with the feeling that nobody really sees or cares about you. 

As an experiment, I have tried to change my habits when interacting with strangers. It has meant breaking a lot of unwritten social rules. For instance, I smile to people on the bus. In some cultures, this is considered basic politeness. In Norway, I may be considered a lunatic by some. I have started saying “have a nice day” to the cashier every time I buy something, and I have even gone as far as complementing a complete stranger on the street. 

Of course, these are small problems in the wider-scale issue that is loneliness. However, actions like these make people feel seen, even if it is just for a few seconds. My experiment has also had positive effects on my own well-being. Just making eye contact with a stranger on the bus and being met with a smile does more than one would think. 

I would encourage international students to not adapt to every oddity of Norwegian culture, but rather implement parts of your own culture into your everyday life. We are in desperate need of it!