– When you stop feeling hungry it has gone too far

«It was in those days when I roamed Christiania, starving.» This is the opening of Knut Hamsun's famous novel Hunger (Sult). It was published 125 years ago, but still there are people walking the streets of Oslo, starving. The difference is that few people go hungry because of poverty. Most are ill. Vilde Myrseth (22) was one of them for several years.

In the premises of the Interest Group for Women with Eating Disorders (IKS), just a stone's throw from Karl Johan, Vilde is sitting in a large sofa. She looks like a perfectly ordinary girl. She is pretty and well-dressed, and appears confident and articulate. On the outside there is nothing to indicate that she has been struggling with a disease for several years, that breaks you down both physically and mentally, until nothing is left of you, neither body fat nor joy.

In Norwegian: Når du slutter å kjenne sult har det gått for langt

«Functional anorexic»

– I've always been one of the «good girls.» I had very good grades, and I had friends, yet I never felt good enough, says Vilde in a firm voice. She calls herself a «functional anorexic,» and explains that she functions in everyday life, but she's still struggling with problems related to food.

– I eat dinner daily. I have a boyfriend who sees to that, but I do not believe I have a healthy diet. It's something I work with daily. The dream is one day to drink a cappuccino made with full fat milk and eat a chocolate for lunch without feeling guilty, says Vilde, and laughs at herself.

Relapse

Vilde has bulimia and anorexia, but she has gotten the disease at such a distance that she can reflect on it. She is studying development studies at the University of Oslo (UiO). When she started in autumn 2013, her clinical picture changed.

– I was at my worst in secondary school, both mentally and weight wise. When I started at UiO, so much happened both socially and academically, that I simply didn’t have time to think too much about food. I ate and drank like any other new student, says Vilde with a sly smile.

Starting university is for most people a great transition, many are moving from social environments they've had since elementary school. For Vilde this was very positive. Somewhere in all that happened with a new place to live, studies and new friends there was no room for the eating disorder. The first year in Oslo she enjoyed herself a lot, but it would show that an eating disorder is not something you can leave at the doorstep at her childhood home.

– Last year I came back to Oslo after spending the summer holiday with my parents. It had been a lovely summer, with lots of food. I weighed myself, and weight showed eight kilograms more than when I started studying. I felt that I had lost control completely, Vilde tells openly.

Harmful freedom

Later during autumn 2014, Vilde experienced a relapse. She isolated herself in fear of having to go on social activities where food was served, she purchased a bathroom scale and spent life as a student as an excuse to eat less and less.

– I began using studying as a kind of yardstick. If I sat in the library for eight hours, I had gone eight hours without eating. It felt like a victory and it evolved into a kind of competition I had with myself, says Vilde.

Luckily she curbed the disease before it took full control over her life again. But she also discovered how hard it is being a student while fighting against an eating disorder.

– There is no one who looks after you. You have complete freedom; if you do not want to eat, no one comes knocking and tells you to, says Vilde, and admits that it was something she was looking forward to when she first moved to Oslo. In retrospect, she has seen how dangerous that freedom is.

– Every day I see people at Blindern and think «you are not healthy, you have an eating disorder», and that's just the ones I actually see. Eating disorders is often an invisible disease, and that's part of the problem. It is difficult to intervene when a person is not visibly sick, says Vilde.

Many students seeking help

Director of IKS, Elin Olsen says that they have many students who turn to the organization for help, support, or just an opportunity to talk with others who are in similar situations.

– We have many student members, and many of them have moved to Oslo from around the country. It's probably more difficult for them, they have friends and family in a completely different place, they often come to Oslo without a large network, and many of them are lonely. It's difficult situation to be in, and can lead to developing of problems related to food, she says.

Just inside the entrance at IKS stands a table with a myriad of different types of tea. Every Wednesday they are open to everyone, and many people come by to talk about their challenges. We do not serve food, that would have made it a challenge to attend the open evenings for many of those who make use of the offer.

– This is a service open to all. The idea is that people should have the opportunity to talk about their food challenges in an environment that feels safe, where no one judges, and where you can experience understanding, because most have gone through or are going through something similar, explains Elin.

Trendy anorexia

Elin is also concerned with the invisible, and those who may not even know that they have an eating disorder.

– There is so many in today's society who has a strained relationship with food. It's almost a bit trendy to say there’s something you don’t eat, or that you’re intolerant to some foods. You do not have to look unhealthy out to have an eating disorder, it is about how you relate to food, and for an increasing number of food is a challenge, says Elin. She is concerned about the development, and says more and more are turning to IKS. Most send an e-mail, and many wonder if they have an eating disorder. Elin must often respond affirmatively to the question. Eating disorders is a disorder that affects increasing numbers.

– We are noticing this, more people are seeking us out in recent years, and many of them are students who are also struggling with loneliness, says Elin.

SiO Health used to run a group for students with eating disorders. But today the group is shut down because the students report that they get more benefit from personal conversations with a psychologist.

The big fight

Outside in the hallway, Vilde is sitting browsing through IKS' magazine Kraft. She now works as a volunteer for the organization. For her it was a way to help in the fight against eating disorders after she got better from her own illness.

– Eating disorders are a problem that so many students are struggling with, and not everyone’s aware that they are struggling with it. I wanted to accomplish something, and when I found the interest group I felt it was a good way to use my experience with the disease in a positive way, she says, and leaves through the membership magazine.